category: nonFic
timeframe: varies
characters: vary
warnings: silliness
rating: teen
summary: a humorous sneak peak into my various works-in-progress.

The Mercy Seat
Post Chosen
Giles: Xander has gone insane and is killing slayers.
Buffy: Is that before, or after he went to hell?
Giles: Er.
Willow: Xander, were you killing slayers?
Xander: How the hell should I know?
Immortal: Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Buffy: Can we convince Xander that Andrew's a slayer?

Fanon Fodder
Post Chosen
Mike, Frank, and Steve: U R teh campion! Fight with yur mad carzy skillz!
Xander: Aw, fuck!
Multitudes of crossed over characters: Wait, we don't wanna fight either!
Xander: Yay!
*They smash the loser geeks*

The Alpha and the Omega
Post First Date
Molly: You're the son of God!
Xander: Am not!
Molly: Are too!
Xander: Am not!
Molly: Are too!
*continues into infinity*

Sweet Sixteen
AU, end of sixth season
Willow: I'm crazy evil, but I still love you as my bestest friend, so I'm going to give you a twisted, unasked for gift of a second chance!
Sixteen year old Xander: This gift sucks!

Viole(n)t Eye
Post Chosen but also just after the Witch
Buffy: You okay?
Xander: Ack! You're dead!
Willow: What's wrong?
Xander: Ack! You're evil!
Giles: This is most unusual!
Xander: Ack! You're a demon!
Cordelia: Loser.
Xander: Ack! You're Cordelia!

Pictures of Success
Post Chosen, set in Rome
Buffy: I wanted Xander to come visit me, but now I don't so I'm going to ignore him.
Dawn: Buffy's acting weird, so I think her new boyfriend is out to get me. I'm going to get into lot's of trouble by trying to prove I'm right.
Andrew: I'm so happy my true love--I mean, my friend Xander is here! Let's go be tourists!
Immortal: Be quiet *smacks Andrew*
Others: Yay!

Untitled Trickster myth story
Post Chosen
Bella: I've been reading a book about tricksters and watching a show about spies! Spies are the modern day trickster archetype! Therefore, the trickster spirits conspire and turn Xander into a spy! Um, yeah!
Xander: I hate you, you know that, right?

Untitled Alias/Buffy/Keen Eddie(?) crossover
Post Chosen, fourth season of Alias, and the end of Keen Eddie
Weiss: All my friends are dead/incarcerated/missing/comatose. I'm really bored.
Jack: I must locate my daughter! You and Marshall have nothing better to do, so you're going to help me.
Weiss: Yeah, okay, sounds good.
Marshall: I'm included!
Xander: I don't know anything about your daughter who might be a slayer and is now missing and has been contacting the Council, which I work for.
Jack: I don't believe you! *smacks Xander*
Marcy Ross: Killllllllll. . . .
Marshall: Hey, even I haven't figured out how to make people invisible yet!
Xander: And I certainly don't have any idea what this might have to do with Milo Rambaldi.
Eddie: Wait, how am I included in this fic?
Bella: Quiet you,

House/Buffy x-over tentatively titled "Safe as Houses"
Post Chosen and first season of House
*Dawn collapses*
Xander: What's wrong with her?
House: We don't know.
Xander: Maybe it's magic.
House: Magic?
Xander: Um, nevermind. . . .
Bella: I'm convincing my best friend to start writing fanfic by playing on her new television obsession! I RULE!